Fried food….even if I catch a whiff of fried food I go crazy. I’ve been slipping a lot with my eating clean lifestyle. Even when I have healthy food in the fridge, I still move it out the way and reach for the leftover crap. It seems am 0ne of those type of weight loss losers’ who whenever they see a little weight come off, they stop trying. I need some serious motivation. Well, some of the motivation tactics I’ve tried in the past were…
(1) Hang skinny clothes up. Either my brother makes fun of me or I eventually put the skinny clothing WAAYYYYYYYY in the back of my closet.
(2) Look at pictures of fitness models (no less). These women make a living of being skinny.
(3) Compare myself to my college classmates. Why bother, I’ve seen many of these girls STARVE themselves to be skinny. I love to eat, so it ain’t gon’ happen.
So I ask you what do I do?, especially since am out of school now for winter break. I go back to school Jan. 7. I need this time to get back in some type of shape.
While, I did not start to get chubby until the age of 10. Before that I was skinny as a pole. Enjoyed all the cute clothes a girl my age could ask for. Clothes actually fell off of me. All that change when I was introduce to Chinese Chicken and Krispy Kream Doughnuts. I gorged myself on them. But as a 10 year old who surround by family members who knew nothing about nutrition or fitness, I was in a state of bliss. Plus I thought I could eat anything because I was young and was pretty active. That was the biggest lie my body told to my little brain. So I blew up…No longer was I in cute clothes, but mumu dresses for kids. I felt and looked like shit.
So middle school came around. I would say that those three years were filled with constant pain. First, I went to a GHETTO middle school (I think that that should be enough information right there). Second, I got the hives before the first week of school and could not go. Third, I was FAT and dress uncool. I was an instant target. But my 7th grade year I actually lost alot of weight. Through the use of the Cabbage Soup Diet and laxatives. Sadly (again) I gain those crappy pounds back in a month and then some.
Lets continue to high school. Awwwh, another crappy three years of school you say? This time around I decide to lose weight before I got to high school. I failed miserable on keeping that promise. So again I went to school looking fat. Unlike middle school, people were not as outright about telling you nasty stuff, but things got back to you eventually. Which made it worst. Constance one week diets and the abuse of laxatives led made to feel weak and space out. I would say that at least I was not as big as my middle school self and that I had a better sense of fashion. Also I met my dream guy. I was surprise that he even notice me. Especially since I was not the best looking bird in the flock. I would even go to say that he saw me at my worst. Plus he had a body to die for. Which made me wonder whether or not he was drunk or on something…me?
Anyway, here comes college. The funny thing is before I applied to a college I actually looked at the quality of their gyms. Georgia State University was my best bet. So, for two semesters I was at my top form. But I started to slack and not give a damn after my first year. Then I started to notice that, even in college, looks/weight/fashion still matter. I could feel that people acknowledge my fatness before than acknowledge my intelligence or my artistic ability. During the summer of 2007 I even joined two gyms. L.A.Fitness and the YMCA. I loved the YMCA, but it was and is known for messing with people money and L.A. Fitness felt like a meat market. For 3 semesters I was deeply depress because of this….
Which has led me to write or start this blog. I want to be a FITNESS/GYM RAT. Currently am using a combination of home fitness programs. Both Yourself Fitness and P90x Videos.
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